Fairness Doctrine

What kids say directly to their parents is often far less interesting that what they say to friends when the children don’t know that Mom & Dad are listening. It is how one finds out what is really going on inside of these developing human brains. Their thoughts are often unguarded and raw. They are not tempered by social pressure or maturity. They are not bound by a sense of the long-term value of patience and prudence.

In the cavalcade of “buddies” that come to spend time with our boys at home, I have been privy to loads of off-handed remarks, pithy comments and just-plain-simple laugh-out-loud remarks from the youngsters. But there are common themes – feats of physical prowess, retelling of all manner of gross indiscretion and assertions of
justice &fairness. The first two are easy to discern. Either one can shoot the most 3 point shots or not. Either one ate the garden worm or not. It all seems simple to figure out. But today, their conversations often turn to the final of these refrains. Is it fair that Helen hit four shots and Hank only managed two? Assuming that the rules were evenly applied and expressed, how can young Hank feel slighted by the prowess expressed by his female rival?

Did Hank work as hard? Was he debilitated by physical impairment or simply a lack of will to apply the talents that may have been within his ability to exploit? Parent of more than one child know of accusations of imbalance ringing between siblings, “Dad, brother’s not playing fair!” Should we hold back an older and more talented child so that a less able one can keep up? Isn’t it better to urge the younger to work to find their own calling rather than to accommodate their envy?

This column was published on Tuesday, January 31, 2012  in the Current in Carmel, Current in Westfield, Current in Fishers , and Current in Noblesville - http://youarecurrent.com/

Photo taken from -http://southwestcommunitycenter.wordpress.com/